Health Hiatus + Inktober

Getting started again is always the hardest part, isn’t it? I had such good intentions to keep a monthly art blog going, but I’ll be honest… My injured thumb pushed me over the edge into a very deep emotional hole this year that I am just now starting to crawl out of. It probably wasn’t helped by the fact that, in the past two years, I got divorced, moved twice, and have been facing the slow decline of kidney disease in my two beloved cats I’ve had for the past 14+ years. Not being able to journal or make art on top of all that? Well, when I write it all out, it almost seems weird that I would be able to get out of bed or write a stupid blog post or whatever, you know?

So the thumb: 3 doctors have told me that it will likely take a year to a year and a half to fully heal. I had an MRI and the official diagnosis of the injury is Gamekeeper’s Thumb. Named as such because someone noticed it happening in small gamekeepers who repeatedly used their hand that way (i.e. snapping all those poor little necks over and over - gives new meaning to my “death grip” on the pencil *eyeroll*). (Also called Skier’s Thumb if it’s an acute injury.) The unfortunate thing I’ve noticed is that NOT USING IT seems to help the most. The other unfortunate thing is that I find all meaning and purpose in my life from USING MY THUMB. I feel like I’m wasting my life when I’m not making art and I’m scared that when I make art I’m damaging my thumb and will ruin my ability to make art in the future. So I feel like my brain has been eating itself these past months. 

The nerves: never figured out the cause. Have gone away for the time being.

I’ve had a few sessions with a new PT who specializes in hypermobility (one of the other issues I recently learned I am up against) and he made a new brace that seems to help a little bit. But it also seems to aggravate other parts of my thumb, so it’s hard to tell. All that to say, I’ve managed a few things here and there and am slowly starting to write in my journal again (very gently!!!). And I recently completed my third Inktober! I used the same concept as last year: zero pressure, 15 minutes or less loose sketches using up old Rohrer & Klingner ink that clogged every fountain pen I put it in.

I changed it up this year by working on toned paper and using the Posca for highlights, which is such a fun style to work in. And also by diluting the ink with water to get different values.

Drawing with a bum hand and unwieldy foam handles while wearing a thumb brace will really loosen you up, haha. Can’t say I recommend it, but you know what? I’m happy I completed this small project. A lot of the drawings didn’t turn out great, but some I find kind of charming and all together they look grander than the sum of their parts. It’s a good reminder for me that art doesn’t need to take big swaths of time. Little moments really add up. And some feels so much better than none.